10 October, 2013

Growing Up – The Challenges and Responsibilities Of ~

Sunday 29th September

Yesterday 28th September would have been my birthday in a not-too-distant past. But ever since I began to grow up, I've become far too boring for words. Growing up is boring. No wonder most grownups seem so boring. Only a few adults manage to keep the spark of childhood alive within them... Sigh! Bills, Bills, Bills; More bills and expenses… That's what we spend our time and energy thinking about. Every waking moment is dedicated to securing the future, an indefinite future that we have very little or absolutely no control over.

With respect to the future, one thing I still wonder about is... "Why should I get married?" I find it quite unfortunate, that I'm still at this cross roads.It's a crying shame actually but here I am. Wondering why the **** I should contemplate marriage. Why for crying out loud should I get married? From my emotionally warped standpoint, it's sickening to say the least ... Invariably, for the woman. The men seem to simply have a joy ride. “We-Men” (to be read as women) bend to their whims and caprices in the name of submission and subservience. After all, they're men. And it’s a man’s world. Men! SMH

Monday 30th September

I don't think marriage is mandatory for everyone. Oh no, I don't. It seems more like an obligation for companionship, procreation and all the other things that make men seem responsible...so that mankind may not go extinct! Otherwise, I do not see the usefulness of the institution. Men are better as brothers, cousins, friends, boyfriends and colleagues and just random guys. That's about as close as they get...and I think that's where it should end…

Wednesday 2nd October 2013

When I’m still mulling over an article, I try not to drive; I prefer to be driven. It’s very easy to lose thoughts when you’re battling traffic and other road users. Secondly, I find it difficult to recall nicely formed thoughts that popped my mind once I don't pen them down immediately. Most times, I wish our minds had a thought-recording device, so we can document random thoughts in the shower, or whilst driving, or when we're engaged in other activities. On my way home from work today, I hailed a cab; and I learnt more than three valuable lessons about viewpoints and perspectives in the short ride home. Many of us have become accustomed to seeing gullies and craters on our roads that we don’t realize how bad these roads are, sitting in the comfort of cars with good shock absorbers. I think, sometimes, it's good to view things from a different perspective. Every move the cab guy made had a resonating effect on my back.

Friday 4th October

Whilst I was brooding over my angst for the mandatory institution called marriage, and wallowing in my bitterness against men and their selfish but overly demanding nature, I recalled the cab incident and decided to be open minded and not so certain about my convictions. I had an impromptu 10am meeting with a client and dashed off. Upon my return to the office, I had an altercation with a senior female colleague. Given my job hopping and hustle history, this account is not something I’m particularly happy to report, especially since it nearly tarnished my goody-two-shoes image on this job; but in retrospect, I’m glad it happened; and right on time too.

Filly Smith is an elderly lady who married a Briton, she relocated to Nigeria eons ago, after what must have been a divorce due to irreconcilable differences, and is still unmarried to date and childless. All of this would have made no dent in my armor if Filly Smith wasn’t soul-less. She’s so soul-less. She seems to have no life. And I’d hate to end up like her, and all her type who are scattered in top positions in several corporate organizations in various industries across the nation.

Saturday 5th October 2013

Still fishing for content for my blog, I decided to visit a married friend today. I’ve always wondered how and why several women (girls and ladies) give up on a corporate career and become stay-at-home moms shortly after they get married and/or start a family; especially in THIS economy. From what I gather, largely from observation and my interaction with these women, there's a level of fulfillment that comes from kids… a sort of joy. What they term Raison d'ĂȘtre, in french ~ A reason for living. Every other reason pales in comparison to this.

Sunday 6th October

Here’s my conclusion.

Miserable as it sounds, and as foolish and misguided as it can be: It's no secret that men are bastards. That they are overly demanding and selfish is an open secret. However, my counselor once said to me, “anyone who determines the way you live controls your future”. The irony is by staying bitter and unmarried, I’m letting some man control me. Nobody, no man, deserves that! I wouldn't let any man deprive me of the joy of having and raising healthy kids and building a home.

…to be continued

23 February, 2012

Winning the Rat Race ===> the DLA Effect

On more than one occasion, I have been told by friends from my past that they don’t hear my voice in my write-things. Errrrrrrmmm (I think) I can explain *mischievous grin*. Three things happened over time:

1. LIFE
2. I started drinking i.e. getting filled (not only with The Spirit but also with wine and other spirits)
3. Daystar Leadership Academy (Basic Leadership School)

The focus of this discourse is the last point: Daystar Leadership Academy

In a bid to get out of the woods (my hunting days) I did a lot of ‘german-german’! By this I mean I was like a drowning man, clutching tightly to every straw. *1Getting a job is a job! As a matter of fact, by the time I finally got a job, I realized that doing the work itself IS MORE WORK than getting it! *2In no time, I realized that it’s more difficult maintaining/sustaining success than attaining it. Thankfully though, I had (have) something (knowledge) to break my fall from the impending RAT RACE.

The sessions I had at Daystar Leadership Academy helped Mee a great deal…at least the bit I put into practice. It is one thing to be taught, it’s quite another to imbibe and apply the lessons. If we choose to, we (can) (should) learn something every day. If we fail to, LIFE will be full of nothing but hard knocks, and that (a hard knock) is often better heard than felt (experienced).

I cannot speak about the New Generation Tertiary Institutions, but I cannot remember many things I was (overtly) taught back in School that are applicable to the ‘real world’ for which we were supposedly being prepared. Considering the fact that I was in The Social Sciences, I wonder how people who studied some other courses like “Zoo” are coping in the real world! We can see how well the Project Manager of the Nigerian Project, who has a PhD in Zoo is faring! God help and guide us all. “Ori lo mo ise asela”

But then again, like Father said to Mee when I opted to drop out of School (before the approval to leave Medical School for The Social Sciences) University Education is to train the mind. The discipline of attending classes, writing exams, confining you to a curriculum and working with others plus participation in departmental politics and students’ unionism is a great avenue for ‘real world’ preparation. Looking at it that way, school was/is/was/is/was not a waste of time…

However, with respect to time management and finances, err … I had it coming. Attending lectures for instance was not (usually) mandatory and no one monitored how I spent MY money. After all, I was a student privileged to spend Father’s ‘hard earned’ money. (Nail biting: I can see clearly now) Back then, I had more money than sense though, chei. *Sadly, the man no even ’gree send Mee money again* (But like most we-men, I’ve got a backup plan - the receipts are piling ;)

Anyways, school was fun even though I did not really realize it back then. I had fun, but it could have been better. I was eager like so many other people to get to the other side that I failed to live and enjoy the moment. (The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake … Ariel’s advice to the Little Mermaid). OH Yes, I love Walt Disney Films, they are DEEP!

(Sigh) this is about Daystar Leadership Academy

Experience, they say, is the best teacher and I totally agree. However, it does not have to be yours. As a result, I always (always?) strive to avail myself of learning from others. As a matter of fact, back in school, I so availed myself of others that I almost did not have to read. By simply attending discussions or having someone break down a course material, I was fine! This doesn’t work for everybody though, some people just gat to read … (head shaking) mo s’ope temi!

OMG this IS about Daystar!!! iSigh

DLA Basic Leadership Course
• Lecture venue: Plot A3c Ikosi Road, beside GTBank Oregun Ikeja Lagos
• Lecture Period: Monday 5 – Friday 23 March 2012
• 8:00 am – 1:30 pm
• Download forms online at www.dlaonline.org
• Pick hard copies at 71 Kudirat Abiola Way, Oregun
• Tuition fee: NGN 7000

In my days, tuition was 5K and that money hard me ehn, LOL. But in retrospect, it was worth it. That 5k has earned and saved Mee over 5k. Time spent was not wasted but invested. Not that I had any other thing keeping Mee particularly busy at the time though (movies yeah). But the discipline of waking up early and attending ‘school’ again was err … a great discipline! That’s work init? All the best in your hunt(for those who are bent on hunting)!!! Getting a job is a job!

*1Yeah, I think y’all should grab a copy of that book as well.

11 August, 2011

Getting the World Right... on London riots

A little boy had a jigsaw puzzle that on one side had a map of the world and on the other side had a picture of a man.
His mother asked him to try and work it and before long the little fellow had put the puzzle together.
The mother was surprised to find that the little fellow knew so much about geography. She asked him, “How on earth did you do that?”
“Oh,” he said, “I worked the other side first. When I got the man right, the world was right.”
How true that is! We will never fix this world until we get the man right – the man Jesus Christ, that is.

08 August, 2011

It is NOT enough to be a Virgin

There is this TV drama I used to watch daily between 9 and 10 am. Like most sitcoms, you have to follow the story to understand it properly. If however, you miss out on a day or two, you’d still get by. As a result of my unemployed state and ignorance at the time, (post University, pre-NYSC) I invested a large chunk of my time on entertainment/reality TV. In my deluded opinion, staying glued to TV was a way of acquainting me with current affairs {yeah right}.

Sometimes however, due to circumstances beyond my control, I don’t get to watch this sit-com. As a dependent relative; I had to run errands in return for the “free” food and accommodation I was privileged to enjoy. Even though I often tried to schedule my chores and errands in a way that freed up the hours 9-10am, I wasn’t always lucky.
On a particular day for instance, I went to bed at about 3am after seeing one film after the other (how time flies) and woke up at 7am only to discover there was no power supply [NEPA!]. Next thing, there’s this noise from the neighbors and “poorh”. At that moment, I would have given anything, ANYTHING; to get a generator, UPS, battery, inverter; anything… “Just to watch my favorite program” Tough Luck!
It was then that it struck me, “the five foolish virgins discussed in Matthew missed the wedding and the bridegroom because they did not have oil in their lamps. I missed my program because I had neither electric power supply, nor power reserve or power generator, even though the program was running. If only I had oil at the time, I would have watched my program.
Why didn’t the foolish virgins buy oil earlier? Why didn’t they think ahead? Why don’t we think ahead and make plans for the future? Laziness? Ignorance? Slothfulness? Or just plain folly?

As Christians, we need oil in our lamps daily to survive and/or function. We cannot afford to run out of oil because it is the oil that connects us to our destiny. The five foolish virgins had their lamps and every other requirement, including their status as virgins, but because they did not have oil, they did not see the bridegroom. It is not enough to be a virgin, or possess a lamp (religion or other); we need oil all the time. Just like it was not enough for me to have a TV at home or a burning desire to watch it, I needed to have electricity/power to do so.

Aftermath
I. The (foolish) virgins eventually got the oil and NEPA restored power; but it was too late.
II. The virgins missed the wedding and their chance of getting married, because the bridegroom had come and left before their return. I missed my TV drama because it had ended before power was restored.
III. The neighbors could not supply me with power from their generator (not that I asked, but you get the drift); the five wise virgins could not help the five foolish virgins.
The only way to beat the system is to be prepared for future challenges (downsizing and rightsizing). Preparation is Key...these things happen! Tomorrow might be too late. Today, when you hear His voice, harden not your heart. It is NOT enough to be a virgin

03 August, 2011

I'm grateful for my Job, BUT...

I’m grateful for my JOB but…

1. I miss my Bible – in order to be ‘hall right’, I have to wake up early – brush, wash, dress up, make up (thank God for Mary Kay Ash) - and then hit the road! Morning meeting starts at 7pm; (sorry – 7am) if I’m late, the compliance officer gladly debits my account. As a result, reading/studying the Bible (Life’s manual) is a mere wish! Don’t get me wrong guys, I read / manage to read my Bible, it’s just that I simply rush through the verses and the guide to fulfill ALL righteousness (PS: – but who am I deceiving? Both God and Lucifer know the truth as it were). I made a resolve to read through The Bible this year but as with all ‘’New Year resolutions…it’s gone with the wind’’

2. I miss my Mee-time – in 1998, while awaiting our delayed SSCE result, one of my Mom’s many friends (Mrs. Damole) said to Mee, “…going out into the day without saying your prayers is like going out on a rainy day without an umbrella, you get wet and soaked and probably catch a cold!’’ wise words. Unfortunately, over 12 years after/later, I am still battling with the observance of my Quiet time. If only I could pray (and maybe fast) as often as my Muslim friends do, my life would be a lot better, ALL the works.

3. I miss my freedom – having to get up in the morning to go to work seems like bondage! I always encourage myself by the simple reminder, with freedom comes responsibility, so I usually get up and go! The comfort I enjoy at home is a result of the effort I make at work and since bills have to be paid, I just do it!!! – I so pity “OluMuyiwa”. By the time he shows up, hmmn…. I choose to reserve my comments about the receipts I’ve been piling for him.

4. I miss my beauty sleep – big fat lie. I don’t sleep. Many people don’t appreciate this but sleep is a gift! I once stayed in a service apartment where I was referred to as the ‘alarm clock’. My flat mates usually told me to wake them up at odd times during the night either to get them up to read or complete tasks they brought home from work. I was a sure banker, Lol. As the ‘epo-oyinbo’ of the lot, it was a guarantee that they would be awakened. I’m not actually blaming my job for my insomnia, but I do miss my sleep.

5. Come to think of it, I’m giving up so much for this job and at the end, what do I get?
• More work – to take home. (I’ve always wondered why the reward for a job well done is More WORK!) – HR, could you kindly explain this…?!? Ok, I am HR!
• Requests from friends who are broke and need to offset their bills (aka -->exposed folks)
• Bills from the mechanic, the salon, the tailor, the plumber, the landlord, the Network, the ISP, the filling station, the car park assistants, the food vendor, the airline, the security man at the eatery, the galleria, BIS, subscriptions, bills bills bills ~ iSigh
• SOS from my aburo’s in school. They are always broke, always in dire need – I was once a student so I tend to accede to their requests. I understand…
Lord God!
Who am I working for, Mee or them? Cos it looks like they get the money, ALL the Money! However, I am grateful for my job, for the opportunity to earn, spend and give.

Spending power is a rare privilege. There was a time I was employable and yet I was unemployed. I have been on both sides of the divide. Some have been lucky…luckier.

But there is a waiting period for everyone; only that it comes at different times to different people.

For some, the wait may be with respect to:
• Education - Basic or Advanced
• Job – Entry level job or Job migration – dream job, Promotion on the Job
• Marriage – Getting married, Bearing Children (conception, delivery), Staying married
• Housing – Finding a crib, Getting the funds, Buying a crib
… and on and on.

At every stage, we will have needs, we will experience delays, and we will have setbacks. There will be unprecedented events. Yet the bills will have to be paid. Life goes on – there will always be these needs, as long as we are alive.

Knowing this, we should learn to prioritize… what things are important, what things are urgent, what things can wait? Some people live only for themselves (sadly) but I have realized that some things are usually more rewarding than others.

Life is better shared with company. There are times I choose to be alone, but I have realized that the moments I have had the most fun are the times I spent with or invested in other people over lunch, dinner, a trip, a movie, a seminar, other.

I am not such a big fan of ‘hanging out’ Younique is, I am not ; but every-once-in-a-while, I do. It’s always for Mee, an opportunity to get out of myself and learn. Life is too short to be spent on Mee alone. Even I don’t deserve that much of my time!

Every day I live my life to deserve the words on my epitaph (the words I’d like to have written on my epitaph) because whether or not I admit it, in less than 50 years if Jesus tarries, I’d be gone (gone?) and the generation after me… wait a minute, this is the part where I STOP !!!