27 May, 2010

I’m glad God does not grant ALL my requests.

Good thing God doesn’t grant some of our requests. I remember a time I wished I was an orphan! Pained by the crack in my family aka home (which has been described as the test of Christian character), and due to the complexities that resulted from the Younique break, I honestly wished I was an orphan. You see, I stew-pead-lee assumed it would have been fabulous to ‘lack’ the complexities of parental consent, approval and tussles especially with respect to decision making.

Just to get into secondary school, I wrote over 15 entrance exams! And I kept passing… There was this occasion Father had to warn Mee in my own interest to ‘fail’ a particular test so I would not be admitted into that school. Even he did not want Mee to be sent off to that school, but it was beyond his ‘fatherly’ control! If only I had been wise enough to deliberately fail some of these other exams, maybe life would have been a lot simpler for Mee back then. This LIFE!

On another occasion, Mother wanted to send Mee to a French Finishing School so I would learn amongst other things (romanticism?), how to ‘carry myself’ properly like a lady! Well, like you guessed, she never did, which probably explains why I am STILL ‘bouncing’ about with obvious nonchalance and indifference LOL She sooo hates the way I walk now. But if it’d been solely left to her ‘motherly’ role, I would have turned out better. I appreciate that my walk is Younique but I don’t get what the fuss is about! The idea is to get from one point to the next in’ it? … QED!

Marriage (rosy or thorny) is about commitment to the ‘goal’. (A broken home affects the kids a lot more than it does the actors) I had colleagues back then (by colleagues I mean my fellow ‘friends’ from broken homes) who were affected so bad it reflected in their school work. Many of them (I inclusive if I choose to admit it) dropped from straight A students to above and just below average or lower in some cases. A few of us were asked to repeat a class or two. In an attempt to block out the pain at home; we had become immune to our immediate environment (including academic, social or other) and very nonchalant.

Combine conflict at home with peer pressure and you get a very interesting result; truancy, absenteeism, alcoholism, drugs, sociopathic behavior and many other disorders! In some cases, depression! Parents faced with their personal dilemmas often tend to ignore the effect of their actions on the kids (biological, affinal, blended, dependents or other). Forgetting that ‘to every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction’. So when kids begin to react, rather than seek to understand, they being the original actors, further ‘misact’ – and two wrongs never make a right!

Kids often feel they are the cause of their parents’ divorce/separation/attitudes. I certainly felt I was a burden (I wonder where these feelings come from anyway) so I began to withdraw from them ‘both parents’). It became logical after a while for Father to assume I was with Mother whilst she assumed the same when I was neither ‘here’ nor ‘there’ (assumptions are dangerous). Here and there, nowhere and everywhere all the time and I soon became a rolling stone. I understand a rolling stone gathers no moss (I wonder if moss is good or bad) but for what it’s worth, moss is whatever you make it.

A rolling stone gathers NO moss!

26 May, 2010

The double face of Christian-ity !!!

Where there is no vision, the people perish and where there are no people, the vision will die.

Where there is di-vision, the people are confused!

Today, the Church is filled with many waiting to be filled. Hence the di-vision and wrong images we reflect.

In the end ... each one wil stand as an individual before his maker to give an account of his life and times!

God help us focus ...

Culture Shock

Brothers and Sisters, my heart’s desire and Prayer to God for the Moslems (especially) is that they may be saved. For I can testify about them (being one before) that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life!

Adversity is the test of commitment. So IF any friend decides to completely part ways with Mee after this, I'd understand. With a 'jabo' like this, I no doubt deserve my enemies. But PLEASE bear with Mee. JESUS IS THE WAY ...

For some reason, He gave us a will to choose. The will of man is stronger than the will of God even though the will of God supersedes the will of man. For instance, engaging in sex before marriage is outside God’s sovereign will for our lives… same thing goes for homosexual acts (acts, not inclinations). Same thing goes for a highly debated one; going to HELL! But God has given every man the ability to choose. Great God, sovereign God!

It would however be stupid of Mee to point out the speck in my neighbor’s eye when a log is in mine, obstructing my view. I remember a time when I was practicing Christianity out of a sense of duty rather than a sense of delight. I looked and acted a script, in accordance to what was physically and morally expected of a ‘follower of Christ’. Head covered, no trousers, no jewelry, no vanity dressing, no make-up, no nothing. Even friends were an abomination as friendship with the world is enmity with Christ. Guilty of anger, malice, bitterness, lying, etc … the sins of the Christians, I neglected the fact that by their fruit they shall be known!

On the outside, I looked like the perfect girl (at least so I thought) but deep down I was truly miserable, unhappy and very sad (to say the outward reflects the inner is no longer Greek) cos I was truly 'miserably looking'. Ignoring the same scripture that says, “With joy we draw from the wells of salvation” I went about thinking it was a sin to be happy, cheerful and joyful. Better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting yea, but better is the comparative of good! Little wonder no one wanted to follow Mee to Church then. If I had a choice to go back in time now, even I wouldn’t have followed Mee anywhere, talk less Church (boring folk)!

Culture Shockers

Father once asked Mee if I had ever considered having an abortion. Upon my response, he said to Mee; “Don’t tell me you will never have an abortion. Just say you would rather never have one and pray that you never need to get one. If (God forbid) you are raped by armed robbers, and eventually get pregnant or infected, let’s leave it at pregnant for now, will you keep the baby? So that when he’s old, you’d tell him, ‘your father is an armed robber?’ Even the child (fetus as it was) would feel your pain and rejection prior to birth. Puhleeaaasseee!

His comments woke Mee up that night and ever since then I made a ‘lame’ resolve to wake other people up too. Not that I am (that) wise but … I’d rather be a blessing to my generation by sh-air-ing the little I know and have been privileged to learn.

Please indulge Mee and please feel free to correct my thoughts where necessary. We learn everyday!

The fact that you’re a Christian (make that a child of God) is no guarantee you’d have a good marriage. Neither is it a guarantee you’re going to live a good life. My people (Christians – followers of Christ) (children of God) perish for lack of knowledge. So don’t make the stupid assumption that things will go right simply because you’re a Christian. Christians perish … and as a matter of fact, some of them still end up in heaven! Lazarus died at the rich man’s gate full of sores.

You don’t really frown at unprotected sex or having multiple sex partners (boyfriends and girlfriends) especially since you are always careful (to make love, not war: break up and make up afterwards). I now have reason to believe your convictions are as naïve as your mind. With respect to HIV and AIDS, you know I have reservations especially the associated stigma and rejection. It infects people but ultimately everyone is affected by it. If you found out today that your colleague, (one with whom you share a workstation for instance) is HIV positive, what would you do, I mean how would you react? Precautionary motives ehn? In as much as knowledge is power; ignorance is truly bliss my dear!

Then you tell Mee healing is the children’s bread, and you sit back hoping for manna to fall down? Right! Have you not read that Elisha the Prophet, the same one who received a double portion of Elijah’s anointing, died of an illness (2 kings 13:14)? Are you saying he was/is not a child of God? If a ‘mention-worthy’ prophet in biblical times died of an illness, why should you (not)?!? So the next time you hear that someone is ill/sick or infected with HIV don’t sit back thinking he is a sinner! The stigma and the discrimination gets to Mee bad! Besides, the patriarchs by faith moved mountains; stopped the mouths of lions; went about destitute, persecuted and mistreated; became powerful in battle; conquered kingdoms, amongst several other things. We use our faith to claim prosperity and spouses; no one wants to fight anymore! It’s called the fight of faith! Life is war! (‘Claim’ is equally an action word though, so …)

In my short life, I have been privileged to date plenty guys and I cannot imagine how miserable life would have been for Mee today if I had slept with any or all of them. I hate questions, which probably explains why I hardly ask questions (personal or other) well, apart from ‘so gbadun bai’? Not asking questions translates to not caring or not being concerned to some people but … considering the questions I hear these days every time I greet an old male friend, I cannot imagine half the things that go on in “Bode’s” mind. When you ‘sleep’ in a dating relationship, you’d have some explaining to do to someone else later; and depending on the other person, you may have A LOT of explaining to do.

Karma is a bitch, and in time, we will all reap (good or bad). The whore-monger and the adulterous, God will judge. I know a few people today who don’t have kids. As a matter of fact, some cannot. In their youth however, they were the life of parties, always painting the town red!

I have had the rare opportunity of happily walking out of a relationship that was clearly not going anywhere (at least not going my way). I may not know where I am going per se, but I am held by the One who knows the way. He is actually the Way and even though He has told Mee where He is taking Mee to, He did not tell Mee what He’d take Mee through. So it was a rude shock when this ‘man-of-God’ said to Mee, “You’d never find someone like me again”, my response “I hope not, if I don’t want you, kindly tell Mee why I should find / seek someone like you AGAIN?!?” I had no intention to be rude, I was simply being Mee (oh, BTW I do need a lot of tact) – have to begin to season my speech with salt to impart grace to those who hear, God help Mee 

When a man knocks on the door of a brothel, he is looking for God!

24 May, 2010

I'm a Product of MY Training

Parenting
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he would not depart from it. Training up a child in the way he should go means “training him/her according to his/her own individual bent” (Prov 22:6 MSG?)

Training Mee in the way I should go meant Father buying Mee a personal PC in addition to the family Desktop that was available at home when I turned 21. This of course, to my siblings was ‘partiality’ but to Father, he was training Mee in the way I ought to go (according to him: writing, research etc)

It meant Father (again) buying my brother a car at 21 even though I was the one that really wanted (not needed) a car at the time. I at this point thought his priorities were misplaced, my younger brother? But he said to Mee, “Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place!”

It meant Father (AGAIN) giving Mee money in 6-figures when I got into University (that was a LOT of money back then) to the chagrin of my Mother and my siblings. They kept saying, ‘Daddy ti fi owo ba e je ju’ translated, Daddy has spoilt you with money! (All because he gave Mee and not them…beef)

It meant Mother (sweet mother) buying a souvenir for all the other kids on her trip to Israel except Mee. I appreciate gifts (the thought behind ‘em) but I am soooo choosey it is almost impossible to buy me a gift I’d honestly truthfully appreciate. We both went shopping (locally) and I got something I liked!

It meant Father castigating Mee for turning on the water heater when I was staying in his house whilst the other kids had theirs on. Upon my protest at the ‘seeming injustice’, he simply asked, “What do you want, hot water or a turned-on water heater?” Share water with the rest and STOP wasting electricity!

It meant Mother (again) asking Mee to stay with her in the kitchen and help the houseboy whilst the other kids were watching TV or out with their friends. Why pay the houseboy if I (unpaid) have to help him? Naturally, I thought it was unfair and plain mean, but today, I am glad she did.

It meant Mother (sigh) caning Mee all-night when I was rude to her husband. “The Bible says honor your father and mother, it doesn’t say what type of father or mother you’re to honor pam-pam-pam! I bled, I wept, but I did not ask for mercy or forgiveness, and she beat Mee all the more for being stubborn!

It meant Father asking Mee to forgive his wife when I was obviously bitter and withdrawn after she’d insulted Mee and treated Mee unlike she treated her kids. Daddy, I dint do anything wrong, she lied! His response; “If you’re suffering from a ‘bad’ man’s injustice; forgive him lest there be two bad men!”

It meant Mother asking me to kneel by her side in prayer and report my siblings to God each time I ran crying to her or reporting their misdeeds. “We will not always be here for you, to fight for or defend you, you have to learn to fight your own battles and/or take them to God in prayer!”

It meant Father sending Mee off to a strange land for NYSC after he promptly changed the postings of his children. “You are an ajala-travel, the exposure will do you a some good, go!” It seemed very mean and nothing but a subtle attempt to get rid of Mee though.

If I had sulked away like most teenagers do or thrown tantrums like I usually did without imbibing the lessons, life would have been full of nothing but hard knocks for Mee now. Today, I can confidently say I’m better off for my training! Thanks to Father and Mother (all 6 of them)!

21 May, 2010

Look To God Before You Leap - 2

Real freedom is internal, anyone you blame for your situation is the one you’ve given power to control your destiny.

I am happy that today is the tomorrow we talked about yesterday…and even happier that I did not make some of the decisions I almost made yesterday … considering the way things have turned out in my life and err…between you and me today!

Having said that however, I would like to reiterate that since it is only God that has a clear picture of tomorrow; it is highly necessary and important to “look to God before you leap”. My life is proof that this is highly important.

In primary school, I was academically sound. Little wonder I graduated top of my class – overall best student. I guess it was easy to concentrate on acada and face school work since there were no teen hormones surging and tugging at Mee then. Besides, I was a little stable since I spent my last three years in pry school in the same environment (home). But on second thoughts, pry 6 is a waste of time and money. Many of those who stayed back only did because they did not pass entry exams in pry 5. Except Mee of course! My ‘6’ parents didn’t reach an agreement on what school to send me to (psscchheewwww)

By the time I got into ISI, I was fast becoming a woman…err…a teenager I mean; and what’s that thing err… puberty was fast approaching. So I was very self conscious and shy – hehehehe (lmao). To say I was shy is actually an understatement. My ‘siblings’ (friends, family friends, birth sibs, cousins, etc) had so ridiculed my primary-school-self-esteem out of me that I was painfully SHY and self conscious. Every move I made, every step I took, every single day, every ….okay okay Biggy is dead. Anyways, my point is I was very self-aware…

So secondary school was a world war of sorts for Mee - which is why I would never forget Bros Kume. Akinkunmi Akinwumi (RIP) was one of the sunshine in my days… he helped build my self esteem…shattered and battered by all sorts of sneers and ridicule I was faced with as I went about – PE, school work, soiree, out of uniforms day, sports, z-club, cafeteria, pool, assembly, down-the-drive, rm6, arts room, music room, the field, the ledge, hall A, hall B, etc. Aarrgghhh, peer pressure!

I made it oh, especially since I wasn’t lucky to ‘spend’ my ‘parent’s money, have them spend it on Mee, nor was I wise enough to ‘make’ mine. Thank God I now have earning and spending power. Money is not only good, money is POWER! PDP progress….
I managed to tumble out of school. Popsie wanted me to include crk and literature in my SSCE subjects, but I insisted on physics and geography, thanks to my school counselor.

If only I could turn back the hands of time, I’d have heeded Popsie’s advice, but I-Too-Know dey worry Mee that time. The Sciences was the real proof of academic prowess at the time (ppsscchhewwww) – guidance counseling indeed. Ibi to ba mi de ree…. I for just go Arts jeje, na there all my true friends kukuma dey (AdeDunmomimie sweet to me).

I come run go wan stupid “E” arm of SSS, chei! (Nail biting and full of regret) – That was the beginning of my END. To say I was moody and depressed in that class is an understatement. I hated life. God was faithful sha, he compensated mee with crazy classmates. Food and Nutrition Practicals was my reason to ‘live’ – sick! Many waters have gone under the bridge.

Each year strengthened my resolve not to ever get married or have kids. So whilst my teachers were ‘teaching’ I was learning from my thoughts and experiences. How person go pass for school with that kind of mindset?!? If to say na me set the exam questions, I for do brilliantly well. But … God sha intervened, I made it out with near straight A’s…it could have been better but … God dey!

I come enter UI. The climax of it all… I had become a pro at being evasive and into myself. Coded way-ray to the core; I was fighting an ever-ready battle. “Wey dem? dem go everly meet Mee (won a ba mi nile) – iya won. O fee fe ta ni… (Translated, you want to marry who?)…God punish you.” I was a bitter child. No, I was a very bitter and miserable child. And misery loves miserable company.

They say I was largely insensitive – there was a wall around my pericardium. They say I never talked; those who shared their problems with Mee only made me want to trade mine for theirs. And since their problems were trivia to Mee, I knew they would not have been able to help Me in anyway. Assumptions are dangerous yeah, but I was sure then, and I am still sure now…they couldn’t have helped!

But that was by the side. As a Piscean gurl, (twin fish swimming in opposite directions) my ‘other’ side was happy. As the unusually ‘high’ and always laughing gurl, I had this really loud shrill that I call(ed) a laugh - my greatest defense mechanism to date. The happy-go-lucky child that I dared to present as covering (my cover letter)…whilst the cv itself was hidden from view. Was it really hidden? Not to the discerning. But I did a really good job of which I am still very proud. Who was I deceiving anyways… but deceit was not my intent, so …. (It’s a good thing God sees the heart even though man looks at the outward appearance)

It was self protection. No, it was self preservation. If I had been a “Practicing Christian”, I would have known that “he who would lose his life would gain it and he who would gain his life would lose it” but I didn’t know better. Even though I was God’s child, I suffered a great deal ’cos… “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” – God. And I sure lacked knowledge. I was nothing but a nominal Christian, a Christian by birth!

Besides, it was a lot easier to go to ‘fellowship’ than it was to go to the club. At least so I thought, not that I was ever invited to a club…so as much as misery loves miserable company, and even though I was not really happy, I saw the need to socialize. The acceptance at ‘church’ was waow. And I only went to faff. What they said or taught hardly mattered, my purpose/aim was to mingle and mingle I comfortably did until the word (God and man’s) began to pierce my heart.

I stupidly assumed the so-called Christians were the perfect ones. Acquaintance gives insight into character. The moment I realized they were sometimes not quite right, it was difficult to respect or admire them…and err… continue with them. Life is either or…either or…for Mee. I may be black and white, (read all over) and all shades of grey but life is ‘Either’ (black) ‘Or’ (white) … for Mee.

The children of this world are wiser than the sons of the kingdom. They do their thing. Being a ‘do-er’ of the word, I decided to ‘flee from ALL appearances of evil’. I’m sure you’d agree with Mee that ‘evil’ is subjective, besides, it says to ‘flee from the appearance of’ …so even where the object in itself is not evil per se, as long as it appears to be, yep you got it, FLEE! I sharply changed sides…but it was not too drastic. All I did was abandon the Basic Medical Sciences and RUN to the Social sciences. Fitting in was hard though, very very hard…considering the ‘efico’ life I was weaning myself from lol.

Thank God I was bold and determined to take that step when I did though… better late than never, but (considering the year(s) I lost) early is not a bad idea (for next time). Time is money!

Then I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. Life did not look soo black and white with shades of grey anymore. Life had color …very beautiful colors too! And of course, since I was RUNning from my past, it was imperative to dissociate myself from ALL elements (friends and fiends alike) that served as a painful reminder of things best not remembered. I changed sides too. I left the Foundation and joined the Fellowship. The fresh air did me a lot of good! Life IS good

In retrospect, in the words of Walt Whitman, I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends.

BUT If I could go back in time, I'd change one thing: My ATTITUDE!

I hurt a lot of people and caused a lot of pain as I was growing ... hurting people hurt!

20 May, 2010

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

Usually, when you meet people and tell them you studied Psychology {especially here in Nigeria...not that I've been anywhere else... where people introduce themselves by what they do and not who they are} the usual response is, “So, what am I thinking now?”, or “Can you please read my mind?” or “Really, that means you know what I’m thinking!” (Educated illiterates!)more like e-literates!

Contrary to general opinion which is very limited, Psychology entails a lot more than “reading the mind”. The dictionary defines Psychology as “the scientific study of human and animal behavior. This definition clearly leaves out a lot except you choose to read between the lines (something very few people practice). A lot of people are unaware that in making inferences about human behavior, Psychologists rely heavily on statistics.

I had a fair dose of statistics as I made my way through the University. There were representatives from all levels (1 through 4) in my Year1 class, including returning students. Damned statistics! I managed to scale through. In my second year, in spite of a series of tests, assignments and extra classes (fixed by Lecturers who were too busy to come to school on weekdays whilst pursuing other dreams), I made it. The fear of the Year3 Statistic course was the beginning of jittering. The tension was diffused (there are always two sides to a coin though) when we realized the Lecturer in charge was a newbie. Did I just call him that? Oh dear. Sometimes, the devil you know is not better than the one you don’t.

Those of us who made it through Year3 now had to face the music in final year. To compound our fears, our anticipated lecturer in charge informed us he’d be traveling and left us in care of the young man we thought we had escaped in year3.. That information alone was sufficient to make some of us defer the session. Well, thank God for past questions and tutorials, but when the exam came, I realized that past questions and tutorial classes do not always result in good performance.

Like a Leopard that cannot change its spots, our dear Lecturer (who had earlier told us that at the end we would either sink or swim) decided to show us that proper preparation and prayer are not sufficient criteria for excellence.

There is always the “time and chance” factor.

Literally, the format was Greek, the questions were in German, and the instructions were wanton! It would not have been a big issue but it was our first paper. Did someone say final year? As I was writing, I was praying and exclaiming, “Please God, God please” it was all I could do. Surprisingly, nobody failed in the end. It would have been woeful. We made it through The Department of Psychology in spite of the damned statistics.

I understand there are three kinds of lies, “Lies, damned lies and Statistics”. Suit yourselves, statisticians, keep on lying!
MANY Many thanks to all my Statistics lecturers....Idowu Iwunor inclusive

It's NOT Enough To Be a Virgin

I'm not quite comfortable wiv the fact that some people have funny expectations of me wrt my 'future' career...why would I...become a...

anyways...

There is this TV drama I used to watch everyday between 9 and 10 am. Like many sitcoms, you have to follow the drama to understand it properly. If however, you miss out on a day or two, you’d still get by. As a result of my unemployed state and ignorance at the time, I invested a large chunk of my time on entertainment/reality TV. It was current affairs in its own way, yeah right.

At least it was something to look forward to each time I retreated to bed at midnight.

Sometimes however, due to circumstances beyond my control, I don’t get to watch it. See,I have to run errands although I often schedule my chores and errands such that 9-10am would be free. But I’m not always lucky. A couple of nights ago, I went to bed at 3am after seeing one film or the other (how time flies) and woke up only to discover there was no power supply. [NEPA!].

Next thing, there’s this noise from the neighbors and poorh! goes the generator. at that moment, I would have given anything to get a generator, UPS, battery, anything…just to watch my favorite program.
It was then that it struck me, “the five foolish virgins in Mt missed the wedding because they did not have oil in their lamps. I missed my program because I had neither electric power supply, neither power reserve nor power generator. If only I had oil at the time, I would have watched my program. Tough Luck. Even though the program was going on, I could not watch it because we did not have ''light'' at home.

Why didn’t the foolish virgins buy oil earlier? Why didn’t they think ahead? Why don’t we think ahead and make plans for the future? Laziness? Ignorance? Slothfulness?

So it is with us as Christians,
We need oil in our lamps daily to survive/function. We cannot afford to run out of oil because it is the oil that connects us to our destiny. The five foolish virgins had their lamps and every other requirement, including their status as virgins, but because they did not have oil, they did not see the bridegroom.

It is not enough to be a virgin, or possess a lamp (religion or other); we need oil all the time. Just like it was not enough for me to have a TV at home or a burning desire to watch it, I needed to have electricity/power to do so.

Aftermath
The virgins got the oil; NEPA restored power, but it was too late. The virgins missed the wedding; the bridegroom had come and gone before they returned. I missed my TV drama; it had ended before power was restored. Today, when you hear his voice, harden not your heart… help yourself, tomorrow might be too late. The neighbors could not supply me with power from their generator; the five wise virgins could not help the five foolish virgins. Right now, I don’t watch TV as often as I used to. I’ve learnt the hard way, to beat the system. I am preparing myself for future challenges (downsizing and rightsizing). I’d suggest y’all do the same...these things happen!

It's not enough to be a virgin

Udeme - To all OJJ's

At the onset of this reality TV show,there were 10 contestants. The person who emerged winner on completion of the tasks was to win a total of 5million naira (...twas a lot in their days...now it's just ..well, a magnet of some sort...not strong enough in most cases... for headhunters in some fields...) The winner being, the last man standing after a series of rigorous tasks and exercises.

After 6 evictions, the host/director/anchor of the show Chidi Mokeme introduced a new pattern of eviction. The eviction pattern was to ask all contestants to vote out the weakest link.
So on a particular Monday, he asked all four contestants to vote one person out. After they voted, there was a tie. The tie was between Ifeoma (the last chic standing) and Lucan. As a result of this, Chidi decided to invite erstwhile contestants who had previously been evicted.

Upon their arrival, he asked them to vote out whomever they considered the weakest link. Interestingly, by the time the six were done, neither Ifeoma nor Lucan had been voted out. Vaughan was…and guess what? All six of them voted Vaughan out.

Hmmn…talk about rare coincidences.

Vaughan had a bad testimony/attitude and character in the camp. He exhibited bad behavior and hardly treated camp mates well – he was always fighting, cussing, or calling them names. An overgrown baby I’d say.(is dia freedom of speech here? I'm sorry Vaughan...but this was '''my perception'')

Aftermath
We reap what we sow. In spite of Vaughan’s ability, ingenuity and brilliance, and a great likelihood/chance of winning, he lost his chance to win the 5million naira from the Gulder Ultimate search show as a result of his poor/bad relationship with fellow contestants (relationship history).
Beware!

I've been mending bridges...hell of a task...how on earth did I manage to break so many?...hope dis ends soon...never can tell who'd be invited when I'm on the hotseat!

It's Important to Build Good (Cordial, Strife Free, Harmonious, Loving) Relationships...you can say that again...it's always easier said than done

There is indeed a drop of greatness in every man . . . but it takes patience, hard work and good character to draw it out.

Job Hazards!

We Need To Build A World Without Walls.

Walls here refers to fences, barriers, defenses etc. { ...funny I’m the one talking about this...:-) }

wall [wawl]
noun (plural walls)

1. flat side of building or room: a vertical structure forming an inside partition or an outside surface of a building

2. standing structure that surrounds or blocks: a narrow upright structure, usually built of stone, wood, plaster, or brick, that acts as a boundary or keeps something in or out

3. defensive structure: a structure of earth or stone built for defensive purposes

4. physical or psychological obstacle: something similar to a wall in appearance or impenetrability
• met with a wall of reporters

5. something that prevents communication: an obstacle to understanding or communication between people

6. CLIMBING rock face: a vertical or nearly vertical rock face
• a sheer wall of granite

7. CIVIL ENGINEERING barrier to flooding: a structure built as a barrier to flooding

8. ANATOMY body membrane or lining: a membrane or lining enclosing or bounding an organ, blood vessel, or cavity of the body
• the uterine wall

9. CELL BIOLOGY rigid covering for some cells: a rigid covering over the outer membranes of plant cells and of some prokaryotic animal cells

10. SOCCER line of defensive players: in soccer, a line of defensive players who must stand at least ten yards from a free kick and who try to block a shot on goal


walls, plural noun
barriers to intimacy: protective behavior used by somebody to keep others from getting too close
Microsoft® Encarta® 2007. © 1993-2006 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

A few years ago, I got home to my parents house on a Saturday morning and unfortunately for me, neither Mom nor Dad was home. Their security guard, gateman I mean, was AWOL so I let myself in since I had spare keys (it’s often better for everyone to have access to the house at will – this in my dictionary is aka independence!).

Halfway through the process, a dog appeared … oh well, no “yawa”, problem was, the dog and I hadn’t really met! I managed to go through that hurdle only for a strange face to appear … a gurl in her early 20’s, at least so I thought - oh dear, now the clumsy introduction and a really awkward one at that!

Adhering to instructions of course, she wouldn’t let me in – even though it was obvious I had the right set of keys. People tell me I “look” like my parents – is there a word for a human hybrid…? – Anyways, this gurl didn’t seem to see any resemblance to either Mom or Dad. So there I was, right inside the compound yet … stranded!

Meanwhile, I had moved out of my parent’s house, aka “home” about three – four years earlier – “hustling” for my children’s sake… (The “good?” news is, late last year shortly after almost ALL my gurl friends and a couple of guys moved ‘permanently?’ out of theirs; I moved back to mine – Ironical?

Well, it took me A WHILE to realize that some things are much MORE important than money or erm…”hustling”. (Please don’t get me wrong cos I completely agree with my Financial Coach@ DLA; “Money is good” … Edward and Ruth should remember this course)

However, I now know that some things can’t be bought with money – a smile from a loved one, a simple
touch from a friend, the love and acceptance of family, fulfillment etc etc … Thank God I realized this in the nick(?) of time. Merci Beaucoup Notre Pere! (Kemi, I hope this phrase is correct?!? It’s supposed to read, “Thank you Our Father!”)

Epilogue

• The house-help smiles sheepishly every time I remind her about her reluctance to let me in… into my own “fadas- house”... lol. I really enjoy teasing her abourit. (being nortie is one of my greatest strengths )

• My parents are really proud of her – especially ‘cos she adhered to their instructions not to let anyone in, in their absence!

• Thank God for employees, albeit very few, that are dedicated and committed to their work against ALL odds… Speaking of which, I NEED YOU to help me keep my CURRENT job. (details later*.*.*)

After all said and done though, I still feel we need to build a world without walls … trying to come up with a modus operandi … suggestions anyone?!?

*.*.* wrt my RESIGNATION...dont judge me till you hear the details...had to resign as P.A abt three weeks ago... as lucrative as it was...

OK, here's why...my boss returned from a trip and told me he was tired...(expectedly !!!)

I said ok Sir, and he goes on to ask me if I could get olive oil...no qualms...I dashed off... ("wats a PA for if not for errand affairs?'')

on my return,he said his thanks and I began to pack my sack...sorry, bag... ready to go home... home sweet home :-)

as I was approaching the stairs to bid him farewell, he told me he needed a massage...sure thing Sire, lemme get ur masseuse on the phone...

err...he calls me and says, "can you define the word Personal Assistant ...?!?"
shocked to my marrow...I stammered as it dawned on mee...hmmn...talk about job hazards!!!

...you dont want to know what followed...

takea...till I'm stable again!!!

ATM and Verve Cards - Fraud Menace

Adenrele Oyinbogo
11 Mawamiwale Street,
O’dabo Town,
A’Onipademo State
Nigeria

The data above was given by an African (details of Specific Country Withheld) to our legally blonde kinsmen in ‘Obodoyibo’ in the ‘70’s.

It’s from a collection of stories my Parents told me back in the days, when “I Spy …” and “Tales by Moonlight” were common-place in our house – Prior to the advent of SAP, MAMSER, fuel scarcity etc – i.e. the good ol’days... lol

Back to the present, if our country people could ‘successfully’ scam the “more” educated Oyinbomen in far-more-secure Countries/Places like US and UK – how much less our sans-security Naija?!? (Apologies to supposedly relevant authorities and security outfits) Needless to say, it goes without saying that Naija security is whack, very lapse? and more so …

Everyday, Ok, lemme personalize this, I receive mails, sometimes up to three – on a daly basis from “@Interswitch Nigeria”, “Interswitchng” and “ xyz ” informing me to update my debit card details.

Being a player in the FSI, I have never been curious enough to open the mails i.e to read the content / get the details, but I have an idea of the msg 'body' from the Subject of those mails. During my short stint at “The Farm”, ACCENTURE aka – The Firm, I was told repeatedly to link the subject of outgoing mails with the body. So, these guys are learned (let the reader understand)!

Unfortunately, not everyone is like Mee:-). Some people have actually responded to these mails – or mails of this type/sort. As a result Financial Institutions (Banks) open their doors and are welcomed by shouts/wails/laments and tears of aggrieved customers, victims of fraudulent transactions carried on their debit cards even where they were in possession of such cards.

These ‘innocent’ ones may or may not have compromised their debit card details but they all share the same fate. In most instances, these people “victims” receive SMS alerts on their phones notifying them of transactions performed via ATM – when in most cases they had possession of those cards.

To say our people the “Adenrele Oyinbogo’s” have FINALLY come home to roost is an understatement.

The Irony is, as backward as Nigeria is; we’re still the BEST in EveryThing!!!

We were forewarned BUT we failed to pay heed. Adenrele" as the namne implies WAS a warning...
BUT We were too distracted to pay proper attention… "

As a player in the FSI/Sector, I am using this medium to advice and or forewarn you …
PLS PASS this MESSAGE to your loved ones (Kindly give me suggestions where applicable …)

Automated Teller Machines are a blessing, but Adenrele Oyinbogo’s are determined to make us think otherwise.

What To Do …

1. Get the VERVE card.
This is the New Debit Card introduced by InterSwitch (the Bona-Fide Company this time).
Unlike the Magnetic Stripe Card aka the ATM card, the verve card has a chip in addition to the PIN. This extra/additional security feature makes it more secure (to date) than the ATM Magnetic Stripe card.

2. Use i-mobile for funds transfer. This product enables you to transfer funds via your mobile phones in event of ---- *%$*!%#$*

3. Most importantly, keep minimal funds in the account(s) linked to your ATM-debit card. Move funds from your salary/Debit Card/ATM account to accounts not linked to a debit card – alternatively, a highly recommended option, get the VISA or Verve Card

• There are instances where card holders have been accosted / attacked at gun point, led to ATM’s under duress and told to punch their PIN’s.

• Some others have been held hostage all-night and sometimes for days (depending on their account balances) during which “Adenrele Oyinbogo’s” have perpetrated their acts – no thanks to the 24-hour service.

Great Minds – a.k.a Concerned people have suggested that ATM’s be disabled between 11pm and 6am to curb/reduce the incidences of the fraud but that would defeat the 24-hour service (a high selling point for ATM use).

Take for instance, emergency medical cases – accidents etc that require funds and/or “Sha-yo’s” like Mee who enjoy night crawling – night life. We HARDLY if ever “carry” cash around – just swipe the card and let the “Sha-yo” flooooow!!!

In Conclusion Be Extra Careful where your money/debit cards are concerned…

You can’t be too careful. Remember that Money is Power!

AND ...

To know the pains of power, we must go to those who have it
To know its pleasures, we must go to those who are seeking it.
-Charles Caleb Colton

After ALL said and done …

IT IS IMPERATIVE TO NOTE THAT IT TAKES AN INSIDER TO STEAL INTELLIGENTLY

Recommendations Suggestions Contributions etc ARE Welcome ... there HAS to BE a wayyyyy

Many Thanks !!!

Familiar Strangers - My Golf Balls

This Note "The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cuos of Coffee...." Is Dedicated To ALL Those I've Gotten Sooooo Used To Seeing That I Dont Notice Anymore

1. The Vulcanizer on Oke Arapasopo-Olumbe Bassir Dr.
2. The NewsPaper Vendor Down The Road
3. The Ever Present Security/GateMan (At The Estate)
4. My Driver, Househelp and SecurityMen
5. You, My Dear Reader/Friend ...
6. My Colleagues, Past and Present
7. Old and Current ClassMates
8. Mumsies, Popsies (all those the cap fit)
9. ex- everything...old boyfriends and girlfriends
10. Bode (it's been how many years ?!?) itz about time u surfaced !!!

Thanks for being there ALWAYS !!!

Younique
-------------------------------------------------------------

The Mayonnaise Jar, The Golf Ball and Two Cups of Coffee...........

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him..


When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and start to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.


The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.

'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"

I just did......

The Waiting Period ... Part 1

The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous and the expense damnable – Philip Dormer Stanhope - 4th Earl of Chesterfield

‘Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the feeling of a heartless world and the soul of the soulless circumstances. It is the opium of the masses’ - Karl Max

We had a session at work on Friday – HR decided to send HIV/AIDS counselors to the office:

• To educate staff about HIV/AIDS
• For VCT – voluntary counseling and testing etc

The counselors brought along condoms (for free), razor/barbing kits etc (for sale)

The test was not mandatory but many of my colleagues decided to take it. This involved some ‘seclusion’ – the test - a waiting period – counseling – the release of the test result.

For some, the waiting period (the period between which they took the test and the time they were asked to come in for the result) was longer than expected ~...

Anyways, the issue is what happened behind bars i.e. in the waiting period

In ALL my years of formal work, I’ve never taken/had to take the test. I worked with PLWHA in my final year so I can say I’ve been ‘there’...

The Waiting Period... Behind The Scenes

While we were waiting to be called in for our results, a colleague came to me and started rambling; Lol, when you’re under pressure, your true content is revealed / exposed (cf. when you shake a bottle of Pepsi, you know, subject it to pressure, and open it, it’s Pepsi i.e. “the liquid content” that comes out... Pressure has a way of bringing out a person’s liquid content i.e. his true nature...his real content...his hidden self

Anyways, this guy walked up to me and just went on and on. I was battling my own demons as well – ‘what if I’d contracted the virus during my short stint at work with PLWHA?’

“What if Salewa had once used an infected needle to fix my hair at the salon?”
“What if it’d happened during manicure and pedicure?”
“What if ...” “what if I’d been careless?”
“What if it’d happened that ‘one time’ or ‘that other time’ or ...?”
“What if ...”

...so it was a BIG relief to know somebody else was not so sure...and by God, he was God sent! BUT looking at him there, anxious, shaken and shaking, I could not help but wonder, “Dude, what IS up with you?!?” I was scared myself but MY fears were not unfounded ... salon, razor etc but I couldn’t explain why he was SO shaken!

Ours is a ‘preying’ bank and this guy usually spearheads the “prayer” meetings. Back there though, I saw an entirely different side of him.


Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret – Aphra Behn

To be continued...

Goals and New Year Resolutions

One day, a customer walked up to me and told me she wanted to convert her account to a special account or get a different package. She was running a demand deposit checking account but she wanted to make it a pure savings account and requested we block her debit options (that way even if she was in dire need and needed to make a withdrawal she would not be able to do so). For someone currently in the university, her request was unusual, or so it seemed, to me. I commended her wisdom and made enquiries as to why she wanted such a strict package.

In my days as an undergraduate, money flowed freely into and through my hands and saving was not something I understood. I had a ‘savings account’, three as a matter of fact, but money never stayed in any of those ‘savings accounts’ as long as I had a need - and by need here, I actually mean a WANT!!! These accounts were nothing but ‘transient accounts’ ... demand deposit, and more demand than deposit. As a matter of fact, so foolish was I that I hardly deposited money except for momentary safe keeping!

Miranda opened up to me when we got into my office (a mere cubicle actually) and what she told me lingered on in my mind long after the words tumbled out of her lips. She was planning to change schools...and the account was to provide financial back up for her intended way of life. With no plans to study she was saving up money to ‘settle’ her would-be lecturers to ensure her academic progress over the 4-year period of study! It was mind blowing... I was tempted to stop her but I could only see the ‘wisdom’ behind her actions. She knew what she wanted and devised a strategy to make it happen.

I got into my current career by accident (I had no plans to EVER join the army) and as we approached 2010; our CIC illustrated the importance of goal setting and planning to teamwork with a war fib. Being a rookie and one of the only females I get to learn almost everything by ‘syncro’ (barrack jargon).

To drive the message closer home, he told me to picture a football match between two great teams on a lovely pitch that had everything but goal posts. We agreed/concluded the match would be chaotic, a sheer waste of time and ultimately boring.

For BEST results (measurable results) we need to have goals, make plans and follow through those plans! I learnt the IMPORTANCE of goal setting and strategizing aka PLANNING shortly after I joined the army, but my first realm encounter was from a 19-year old!

We usually make resolutions at the beginning of every year, even though by Val’s day those plans are usually moot!

It’s a New Year (half the yaer already actually) and a New Decade... (Half a word should be enough for the wise reader)

GOD HELP Mee but... In view of planning and strategizing etc, I think I’d be changing career again soon (sigh)

I'm Grateful For My Job But ... Expenses Rise To Meet My Income!

1. I miss my Bible – in order to be ‘hall right’, I have to wake up early – rush through the bathroom – brush, wash, dress up, make up (thank God for Mary Kay Ash) - and then hit the road! Meeting starts at 7pm; (sorry – 7am) if I’m late, the compliance officer gladly debits my account – as a result, reading/studying the Bible (Life’s manual) is a mere wish! Don’t get me wrong guys, I read / manage to read my Bible, it’s just that I simply rush through the verses and the guide to fulfill ALL righteousness (PS – but who am I deceiving? Both God and Lucifer know the truth as it were). I made a resolve to read through The Bible this year but as with all ‘’New Year resolutions…it’s gone with the wind’’

2. I miss my Mee-time – in 1998, while waiting to ‘hear’ my SSCE result, one of my Mom’s many friends (Mrs. Damole) said to me, “…going out into the day without saying your prayers is like going out on a rainy day without an umbrella, you get wet and soaked and probably catch a cold!’’ wise words. Unfortunately, over 12 years after/later, I am still battling with the observance of my Quiet time. If only I could pray as often as my Muslim friends did, my life would be better, ALL the works.

3. I miss my freedom – having to get up in the morning to go to work seems like bondage! I always encourage myself by the simple reminder, with freedom comes responsibility, so I usually get up and go! Plus bills have to be paid – I so pity Muyiwa. By the time he shows up, hmmn…. I comment my reserve

4. I miss my beauty sleep – big fat lie. I don’t sleep. Many people don’t appreciate this but sleep is a gift! I once stayed in a service apartment where I was referred to as the ‘alarm clock’. My flat mates usually told me to wake them up at odd times during the night either to get them up to read or complete tasks they brought home from work. I was a sure banker, lol. As the ‘epo-oyinbo’ of the lot, it was a guarantee that they would be awakened. I’m not actually blaming my job for my insomnia, but I do miss my sleep.

5. Come to think of it, I’m giving up so much for this job and at the end, what do I get?

• More work – to take home
• Requests from friends who are broke and need to offset their bills (exposed folks)
• Bills from the mechanic, the salon, the tailor, the plumber, the landlord, the Network, the ISP, the filling station, the car park assistants, the food vendor, the airline, the security man at the eatery, the galleria, bills bills bills
• SOS from my aburo’s in school. They are always broke, always in dire need – I was once a student so I tend to accede to their requests
• Lord God!

Who am I working for, Mee or them?
Cos it looks like they get the money, all the money! However, I am grateful for my job, for the opportunity to earn, spend and give.

Spending power is a rare privilege. There was a time I was employable and yet I was unemployed. I have been on both sides of the divide. Some have been lucky…luckier.

But there is a waiting period for everyone only that it comes at different times to different people.

• Education - basic or further
• Job – entry level job or job migration – dream job,
• Marriage - child birth – conception, delivery
• Housing – finding a crib, getting the funds, buying a crib – and on and on.

At every stage, we will have needs, we will experience delays, we will have setbacks, there will be unprecedented events. Yet the bills will have to be paid. Life goes on – there will always be these needs, as long as we are alive.

Knowing this, we should learn to prioritize… what things are important, what things are urgent, what things can wait? Some people live only for themselves and I say this with sheer disgust. You hear them say things like “ I deserve it” …right! It’s okay to pamper yourself, I do – believe Mee, I do!

But I have realized that some things are usually more rewarding than others. Life is better shared with company. There are times I choose to be alone (with Younique of course) but I have realized that the moments I have had the most fun are the times I spent with other people over lunch, dinner, a trip, a movie, other.

I am not such a big fan of ‘hanging out’ Younique is, I am not but every once in a while I do. It’s always for Mee, an opportunity to get out of myself and learn. Life is too short to be spent on Mee alone. Even I don’t deserve that much of my time!

Every day I live my life to deserve the words on my epitaph (the words I’d like to have written on my epitaph) because whether or not I admit it, in less than 50 years if Jesus tarries, I’d be gone (gone?) and the generation after me… wait a minute, this is the part where I stop !!!

To be continued …

September 11 Attack on the WTC ...

RE: 9/11 attack on WTC, "Islam is a religion in which God requires you to send your son to die for Him. Christianity is a faith (not a religion) in which God sent His son to die for you -Touched by an email"

Prior to what my boss, a recently converted Muslim - now refers to as my March 11 outburst, I had close relationships with quite a number of Muslim-faithfuls and I hope that level of camaraderie is still intact in spite of my apparent carelessness and lack of tact. I innocently shared a quote I read from a book "Touched By an Email" - I liked the pun and thought to share!!!

In the words of Walt Whitman, “I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserve my friends.” But I honestly meant no harm - like I said before, I liked the pun and thought to share - I guess it was ADHD at work as usual; God will heal Mee soon (Amen)

All my life I have never been convinced enough about the idea of Christianity to impress it on someone else by any means whatsoever. However, based on recent happenings (a recent interview on Amanpour) and in the light of eternity, I have decided to tread this much dreaded line … especially since keeping quiet about the truth is as bad as telling lies. God help my foolishness!

I was born into a nominal Christian family – which is probably the only reason why I am a Christian today. Thank God for the privilege and natural selection I had – even when I neither knew about it nor deserved it. If I had been born into a Muslim family, I probably would still be a Muslim today.

We do not choose how we are born, or our pedigree or whatever else the genetic lottery may allot us but we can choose “how” we live. In this realm of choice-less-ness as it were, we can and really should choose HOW we live!

RE: Primary / Secondary / University / NYSC days / The Real World

In my quest to get into the ‘real world’, (I assume this is it …) I have been privileged to be closely acquainted with a couple of Muslims and I can say this for fact: these guys usually know what they are about. Highly disciplined and religious, these folks; it’s amazing!

Looking back over my life, I was a Christian or at least was supposed to be one since I was born and raised in a Christian environment but these guys beat me hands down on the basis of works and discipline, religiosity and their belief in God.

On several occasions, I took the grace of God for granted, even in strange lands and (almost) had no regard for God and the things of God. But not these guys, even without close monitoring and supervision, my friends prayed five times a day – pausing in between our numerous trips and activities where necessary in obeisance to God.

I was astounded! Their level of commitment, dedication and discipline was remarkable. I try not to get into arguments especially about beliefs, prejudices and religion since these usually do not profit anyone. It is not my duty to ‘win’ anyone for Christ; the great commission simply says to ‘go’. What is required of me is to let people know that they can be saved.

The question of why or whether or not salvation is needed is a different matter entirely. This cuts across cultures and geographic boundaries and transcends religious inclinations and beliefs. I for one did not get ‘saved’ until 2009 – I did not feel a need for ‘salvation’ until I could no longer walk alone. I needed a savior and He rescued me.

The concept of GOD i.e. The Trinity has been a stumbling block to many believers not to mention unbelievers. I will attempt to explain it, please note however that this is my opinion – my personal opinion - and even more so nothing but a layman’s attempt at explaining Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity for instance.

On more than one occasion I have heard the snide remark “I cannot serve more than one God”. The concept of the Trinity is a mystery – something you will require child-like faith, simple trust, to understand. Children are so simple, so trusting, they’d believe almost anything. Once a child begins to doubt your words usually based on past experience – he is no longer a child!

Using the Younique head to debug the Trinity

• I am Simisola
• I am Cmesimi
• I am Younique

Whilst I do not count equality with God something to be grasped, I will for the purpose of this write up see myself (Simisola) as God. (hehehehehehehehehehehe *** softly softly)

As Simisola, I have quite a number of very close friends (in real life) who for various reasons happen not to be on Facebook (Bukky Shobowale, Dunmomi, Eromz, My parents and one or two siblings for instance). So judging me by the number of Facebook friends isn’t an entirely accurate measurement of my ‘wealth’. I have many friends… too numerous to mention … it’s just that some of them haven’t accepted CmeSimi (focus please, follow Mee closely on this)

Similarly, I, being Mee, have a Facebook personality that happens to be a mouthpiece of some sort for Mee – CmeSimi – the sent one. She has fewer friends than the real Mee cos of circumstances that brought her forth and some of her convictions. CmeSimi also has fewer friends than Simisola because some people just won’t bother signing up for Facebook. (God help Mee)

Lastly, there is Younique, my ‘other’ profile on Facebook; the beloved and quiet Mee, faceless and yet always there … ever present. I have been told on more than one occasion by close friends that know better, that they prefer Younique to CmeSimi. Ironical! (done… but with errors on page)

All in all, it’s just Mee in three forms, expressing myself in three ways. The highlight of this is that not all friends of Simisola are friends of CmeSimi, and not ALL friends of CmeSimi are friends with Younique. Yet it is the same Mee … the Younique-head.

Like I said, it is a lame attempt at explaining the concept of God, but I am no authority, I can only point you in the direction to go. Yoruba people say ‘ona kan o wo oja’ which translated means, “There are several routes into the market.”

Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life. Where heaven – the eternity market - is concerned, there is only one way and that is JESUS CHRIST!

Look To God Before You Leap

When Brittany Murphy died at 32 of a heart attack just before Christmas 2009, I was stunned!

I’m only a few shy of 32 – but then I thought to myself, “I can’t have a heart attack, not ever!” BMI and weight are excellent – if anything, probably a little low for my age, lol.

But barely a few days after that, I was ‘privileged’ to spend 6weeks in hospital after an ‘embolus’ – thank God for my cousin that was around. A dose of aspirin made the pain subside whilst we drove to the hospital. It was after this I really appreciated medicine and medical practitioners plus the profession at large. That being said, Medicine is not my field :-)

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. I still have no idea what caused my heart attack but I now know this; “unforgiveness is the cholesterol of the proverbial heart. It is like a clot in a vital artery that slows blood flow to a trickle”. I was sure I could never have a heart attack.

I was as sure as the guy next door who brings home a different girl every other day totaling four girls per week. He probably has/had unprotected sex with them ‘cos he got the virus even though he used to tell me, “Simi, notin dey happen, no lele” Some people are so good at lying (distorting the truth) that they convince themselves

I was as sure as the atheist who seeing creation in all its beauty and glory exclaimed – “there is no God” – unlike the atheist who was vocal enough to openly declare his folly, the fool says the same thing – in his heart! Like my boss is always quick to remind us, “the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart”.

I was as sure as the 27-year old who died of liver and lung failure – a record breaker when it came to boozing and having a ‘good’ time – we dint see it coming, but HE gone!!! His folks claim his death is a mystery - Mystery? I realized there and then that no matter how much you study a 'mystery', there’d always be far more to study ... May his soul RIP? I hope he is resting easy

I was as sure as the melancholy (erstwhile chic) that sulked away and eventually plunged into depression and near suicide thinking (stupidly believing) that not even God could make her happy/change her story/circumstances. She’s wiser now, thank God she is! I know ‘cos she was Mee! Joy is tasteless to the one who has not experienced sorrow. When you see the glory, ask for the story.

I was as sure as the teenage boy who thought running away from home would solve/put an end to his ‘misery’ ‘bondage’. With freedom comes responsibility – and I told him, “dude, you’ve got to work for the money you earn/spend – rent, feeding, fuel (generator), gas and clothing etc – a trial would take you back home – a premature trial will definitely take you back home. He’s yet to admit his folly.

I was as sure as the guy who took his spouse for granted and then began to wonder why she was nagging – women are subtle, they only begin to nag if you refuse to pay/give ‘proper’ attention… every nagging sister is crying for some attention – find the ‘key’ to her ‘bma’ and give her a spin! (Spikes; who’s got the keys to my B-Ma?)

I was as sure as the irresponsible dad who abandoned his wife and kids and died alone in a house full of grief. With no one to really love him in his last days, to love or care for him – grief stricken and in pain, he passed on … he dead. His death created a fresh problem for the family though ‘cos he dint write a WILL. If you’re old enough to earn a living, you’re old enough to write a WILL

I was as sure as the student that cheated his way through college – he’s wiser now – I’m sure he is ‘cos I dated him! He was/is street smart yeah, but he lacked the ‘necessary’ qualifications and degree he needed to open certain doors!

I was as sure as my boss’ husband who got another wife – and remarried, thinking another woman would mean joy and peace and therefore put an end to his misery. Marriage is about commitment and covenant and not just a relationship – and not convenience bro! The strength of a family, like the strength of an army is in its loyalty to its members – their loyalty to one another

I was as sure as Michal, who in the innocent throes of love, dint want to imagine how difficult her relationship with David might turn out to be. To all the Michal’s in this generation, Thinking IS work, my dear. And marriage is for a life-time, till death do us part! Courtship brings out the best, marriage brings out the rest.

Be clear about what YOU want from life – Life is a restaurant; you get what you order for!

Look before you leap!

Schizophrenia...a by product of Depression or ... Demonology ?!?

Did you say Suicide? Oh Puhleeeaaasssse NOT Suicide ... Not Even Depression! - Life IS Good !!!

Confession and repentance help heal a wound, but they will never erase all the scars.

I have scars and plenty of them too! They say time heals all wounds, but the scars will remain.

• I have been hurt severally and since ‘hurting people’ hurt others, I have hurt some myself ***heavy sigh

I try to be Ms. Understood and as much as I try, I am still highly misunderstood. Which is why I write, writing for Mee, is cathartic. It takes me out of myself. Besides, written evidence cannot be misquoted (I realize it is usually misunderstood, but my friends know better than to make assumptions about what they read, that they do!)

• I got into 2009 by accident

Mid 2008, the future (yesterday, today, tomorrow, the day after that) was so bleak that I did not ’see’ how ‘going on’ was worth my while (limits of human frailty). However, five unsuccessful suicide attempts and several online ‘consultations’ with physicians about PAS and the like after, I lost the battle to God! He is an awesome Father! Those who turn after vain gods forsake their true loyalty!

Suicide is a SUPER dumb reaction; it is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem. I can only say this now because my attempts at suicide failed – thank God for His mercies and grace. Thank God for God! But at the time, I was in a place soooooo low (mentally and spiritually) I couldn’t reach up to see the bottom. It was that low. I was that gone! (BTW, it takes A LOT of boldness to commit suicide)

• So I have scars

Scars from injuries, slit wrists, accidents I deliberately involved myself in and well? …scars! And even though I am no longer in pain (emotional, mental, and spiritual) I still have those scars. They serve as a reminder of what God saved/delivered me from and how wrong/foolish I was to think I could take ‘matters’ in my own hands and direct my affairs.

I literarily died in 2008 and only came back to life in 2009. Which is why I threw a ‘’welcome back’’ party on my birthday in 2009. It was my first ‘outing’ since my ‘resurrection’. I saw life in a new light. Everything was beautiful – the trees were beautifully green, the clouds were blue and the sand was brown. Everything looked so beautiful, the color of LIFE!

Ever since my recovery/discovery, I have begun to see life in a new way and I celebrate life! That I do – if you have passed from death to life before, you will understand what I’m talking about. Victory is tasteless to the one who has never known defeat, as Joy is tasteless to the one who has never known sorrow. So, except you have been ‘there’, you may not comprehend what I’m trying to say.

Whilst I was in UCH, Dino came to see me. I can never forget those meetings. He talked his heart out and told me why I was not going to die no matter how much I tried. Kabiyesi. I still cannot comprehend why God spared me and took him. I was the one willing to die. Dino had plans, big plans. I had none. He had a life, I had none. He had a good heart, I did not! Yet God took him. Yet I thank God!

Just before I discharged myself, Dino came to take me out one evening, ignoring my livid eyes and frail body, not minding my slurred and incoherent speech. Even I wouldn’t have hung out with me (or anyone that looked like me) at that time. I was all-head!

• I (now) wish someone had taken a picture of me at that time … it wouldn’t have crossed anyone’s mind at that time though. Pressing problems!

Dino drove me around the hospital in a bid to show me why ‘I had hope’ – tough job! I must have made it really difficult for him, especially in the state of mind I was in, yet he spoke his mind and in his typical way and manner, simply shook his head and smiled in surrender. “Simi, you will not die, and the earlier you face reality, the better for you”.

The smallest deed is greater than the best intention. I can never forget that guy, no matter how hard I try. I only wish he was alive to See Mee today. All cleaned up within and without – still an obvious work-in-progress though. Yet I thank God.

• One dog barks at something and a hundred bark at the sound.

Many other people saw me at that time and simply reacted like the Priest and Levite did when they saw the ‘patient’ of the Good Samaritan. I see where they were coming from though. Like the Priest and Levite, these people did not want to be defiled. Besides, didn’t the law require that the Priests touch nothing unclean? And by God, I was UNCLEAN in every sense of the word. Fit only for WWG, UCH

• Physically, I had one too many scars on my body
• Socially and Mentally, I was a BIG mess. MESS is actually an understatement. Ask those who saw Mee then. They’re unfortunately or fortunately MORE credible than I am so go ahead and confirm. They’re tagged in this note. By credible, I mean ‘perceived as serious’

I have this ONE regret however; after I discharged myself against doctor’s orders; I barred ALL incoming calls to my phone (for ‘privacy’). It was then that I later learnt Dino frantically tried to reach me. I actually got a text from him but I was too self absorbed to respond/reply. A week later, tired of shutting “Mee” in and subsequently shutting others out, I turned my phone on to learn Dino had passed on.

• To say I regret my actions/inactions is an understatement. For me, Dino was ‘always-just-a-phone-call-away’ and when he ‘needed’ me I was ‘not-available’.

• I have a scar in my heart!

• I will never again make myself ‘unreachable’ overtly or covertly.... (one reason why I NOW write)


See Mee now? I, who once voluntarily wanted to die?!? ... Ignorance at its peak! more like 'chicken' at heart. "neways, I am a work-in-progress, cut me some slack, Puhleeease!!!

The Husband Store

A Store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . . you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

What floor are you on?

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!

SO this IS it, a tribute to ALL my sisters - siblings, girl friends of former boyfriends, former girl friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues, current colleagues, would-be colleagues, in-laws, in-laws to be, old classmates, neighbors, co-workers in God's vineyard, NYSC colleagues ***, room mates, old room mates, current flat mates, ALL the gurls in MY life - Single, Married, Searching, Widowed, Divorced, Happy, Wistful, ETC!

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

"What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking," Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."

She began to expound: "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I can pay my own bills. I can take care of my household without the help of any man ...or woman for that matter. So I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who strives for excellence mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked ... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. And even if he is a believer; he needs to believe as I do.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.
I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, and strong enough to keep me grounded when I do go through changes.

I don't need a man who is going to purposely bring me grief.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him and he must respect me. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business or who is "messy" in his personal affairs. I have no problem being submissive ... but he has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. If he can't help himself then he definitely can't help me."

When she finished her spiel, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said," You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

So that IS it! as a matter of fact - I read sometime ago that 'people' - same sex or opposite with my temperament USUALLY do not get married EVER. my current lifestyle is semi-proof that this is a 'true' fact... So err.... ALL I can say is God help my parents - ALL six of them!!!

Why Should I Get Married ?!?

My mentor and friend Tyler Perry, whose alter ego is MADEA has written two fabulous screen scripts: “Why did I get married” and “Why did I get married too?” Unfortunately, he is yet to address the dilemma I am currently faced with. Why should I get married? Don’t get Mee wrong, the flesh is (very) willing but the heart is weak… and I can explain the weakness of my heart.

1. I was borne out of wedlock – it is easy for people born into stable families to choose to get married and sometimes judge those who choose not to. BUT except you have worn the shoes I wear and not faltered on the way, due to the stones in those shoes or the holes in them…err…you have no right to gimme advice…

2. Growing up exposed Mee to power tussles between the parents and family members of my birth parents – to say I was tossed to and fro would be putting it mildly (not to mention the fact that I had to constantly change schools and addresses)

3. To reduce the inconsistency I was made to undergo ,I was sent to and subsequently raised by another set of parents further complicating my ‘problems’ – of course, this meant adapting to a new set of rules and parenting style plus err….new siblings ***sigh

4. My birth-siblings rejected Mee and theirs was worse than the rejection from my ‘step’ siblings. There was beef everywhere …left, right, yep…you gorrit (thick beef)…

5. The kids of my affinal mother didn’t completely accept Mee cos I was not their true sibling…*sigh. Society, IF a child is borne out of wedlock, is it the fault of the child, the fault of the parents or the fault of the circumstances that led to the conception and ultimate birth of that child?!? Who takes the bulk of the blame? Yes, why should it be the ‘innocent’ child?

6. After a while, I was sent to another set of parents now known as my foster parents. They consented to raise Mee and well, that put a temporary end to my misery

7. Now my birth parents are pressurizing Mee to start a family: - I don’t want to raise kids that’d be as troubled as I was when I was growing up. The only thing I knew and understood as a kid and subsequently as a teenager was REJECTION. I dint quite fit in anywhere. Not that I truly fit anywhere now but…acceptance is something I now know. The pain of rejection isn’t so strong anymore. Call it maturity, call it anything. At least I now like Mee (and that, believe Mee is good enough for Mee)

8. When I asked my parents why they did that to Mee, they simply apologized and told Mee it was not intentional (they did not plan it, who ever does?). Failure to plan is a plan to fail

9. No one goes into a marriage with a plan to leave it at least so I hear… I don’t know if that’s true YET bit from what I’ve seen and experienced, I’m otherwise convinced. Some people are just too selfish to take FULL responsibility and commit. It takes a lot of strength to commit, so I can identify with those who chicken out…but at whose expense?!? Taking responsibility for one’s actions is the first step in maturity. Response-ability. Until you can be responsible, you should not dabble or meddle with another person’s life or emotions (easier said than done though)

10. Anyways, after all said and done….they asked my pastor to step in. I asked him the same question I have been asking almost ALL my life; “why should anyone get married?” not every child can withstand the pressure in/of a broken home and still turn out oh-kay.

With the way I have turned out it sure takes more than will, effort and determination, it takes a lot of GRACE…I turned out alrite dint I?!? Lol. Marriage is for keeps and until I am sure I am responsible and ready to stay in it for a lifetime – for my children’s sake, I’d PASS. Thank you!

Thankfully many of those cousins and aunties plus my other siblings who maltreated Mee are now kissing arse – thank God it’s not the other way round. But I remember so well… Children NEVER forget. (Well, maltreated is not the word, let’s just say who didn’t treat me right…like the princess that I am/was/am/was/was/am)

My pastor failed to convince me because he dint want to be seen as cajoling since not everyone is destined to get married. But he said something that stuck; "anyone you blame for the way you are is the one you have given power to control your destiny."

In other words, if you want to get married (or do any other thing in life), go ahead and do so, don’t let the actions or in-actions of one man or a group of people determine your actions, reactions or in-actions. Be an actor and NOT a re-actor!

But I’m STILL thinking, why should I get married…?!? Any other reason apart from the kids?!?

Compete Against Situations ...Not Against Rivals

The 20th Century Story of the Hare and the Tortoise . . . V2

Once upon a time a tortoise and a hare had an argument about who was faster. They decided to settle the argument with a race. They agreed on a route and started off the race. The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for some time. Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, he thought he'd sit under a tree for some time and relax before continuing the race. He sat under the tree and soon fell asleep. The tortoise plodding on overtook him and soon finished the race, emerging as the undisputed champ. The hare woke up and realized that he'd lost the race.

The moral of the story is that slow and steady wins the race.

This is the version of the story that we've all grown up with. But then recently, I heard another version of this story. Here goes …
The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some Defect Prevention (Root Cause Analysis). He realized that he'd lost the race only because he had been overconfident, careless and lax. If he had not taken things for granted, there's no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So he challenged the tortoise to another race. The tortoise agreed. This time, the hare went all out and ran without stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.

The moral of the story? Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady.

If you have two people in your organization, one slow, methodical and reliable, and the other fast and still reliable at what he does, the fast and reliable chap will consistently climb the organizational ladder faster than the slow, methodical chap.
It’s good to be slow and steady; but it's better to be fast and reliable.
But the story doesn't end here.

The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realized that there's no way he’d beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted. He thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but on a slightly different route. The hare agreed. They started off. In keeping with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off and ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line was a couple of kilometers on the other side of the river. The hare sat there wondering what to do. In the meantime the tortoise trundled along, got into the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the race.

The moral of the story?
First identify your core competency and then change the playing field to suit your core competency.
If your strength is analysis, make sure you do some sort of research, make a report and send it upstairs. Working with your strengths will not only get you noticed but will also create opportunities for growth and advancement.

The story still hasn't ended.

The hare and the tortoise, by this time, had become pretty good friends and they did some thinking together. Both realized that the last race could have been run much better. So they decided to do the last race again, but to run as a team this time. They started off, and this time the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took over and swam across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. They both felt a greater sense of satisfaction than they'd felt earlier.

The moral of the story? It's good to be individually brilliant and to have strong core competencies; but unless you're able to work in a team and harness each other's core competencies, you'll sometimes perform below others because there will always be situations at which you'll do poorly and someone else does well.

Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the person with the relevant core competency for a situation take leadership.

There are more lessons to be learnt from this story.

Note that neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failures…
• The hare decided to work harder and put in more effort after his failure.
• The tortoise changed his strategy because he was already working as hard as he could.

In life, when faced with failure, sometimes it is appropriate to work harder and put in more effort. Sometimes it is appropriate to change strategy and try something different. And sometimes it is appropriate to do both. The hare and the tortoise also learnt another vital lesson.

• When we stop competing against a rival and instead start competing against the situation, we perform far better.
To sum up, the story of the hare and tortoise teaches us many things.

Important lessons are:

• Fast and consistent will always beat slow and steady;
• Work to your competencies;
• Pooling resources and working as a team will always beat individual performers
• Never give up when faced with failure;
• And finally, compete against the situation. Not against a rival.

In Other Words… BE STRATEGIC !!!

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“When Roberto Goizueta took over as CEO of Coca-Cola in the 1980s, he was faced with intense competition from Pepsi that was eating into Coke's growth. His executives were Pepsi-focused; Goizueta decided to stop competing against Pepsi and instead compete against the situation of 0.1% growth. He asked his executives what was the average fluid intake of an American per day? The answer was 14 ounces. What was Coke's share of that? Two ounces.
Goizueta said Coke needed a larger share of that market. The competition wasn't Pepsi. It was the water, tea, coffee, milk and fruit juices that went into the remaining 12 ounces. The public should reach for a Coke whenever they felt like drinking something. To this end, Coke put up vending machines at every street corner. Sales took a quantum jump and Pepsi has never quite caught up since. “
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Enough is Enough: Nigeria

“My trip to Europe made me realize how young America is. If countries were people, England and France would be old men. Italy would be dead… America is in its 20’s. (will.1.am - the black eyed peas after his trip to Europe)

Going by his analogy, I daresay Africa is a neonate – and if Africa is a neonate, Nigeria is … err... Nigeria!

We are truly who we are… which is why I hate to hear people compare my beloved country/continent with some (other) (older) countries/continents. It is sheer ignorance as far as I am concerned; a blatant exposure of absolute naiveté.

Be patient with us folks, we are going somewhere. Enough is truly enough!!!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall Who is The Finest ... ?!?

I have looked into mirrors and out through windows and I have found out that it is better to look for windows of opportunity to help than to gape at my own reflection. I have been on both sides of the altar. It is important to look into mirrors, for effective presentation, but after discovery, the next important thing to do is to take action.

Every once in a while, I do a quick glance (shufti) at my reflection to remind me of who I am. I often need the reassurance. You see except in very rare cases like mine, beauty is usually only skin deep. LOL, to prevent any form of contention, I’d add that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ (BTW, I just got back from a re-assuring visit to the mirror)

There was a time I couldn’t (really) be bothered about my appearance. It was nothing but a wake up-dress up and go-routine. No time for mirror checks. No time for make-up. I went about my duties not concerned about my looks or the ‘Simi’ others saw. My presentation (or shall I say reputation) didn’t matter. It was their problem, not mine. I was fine.

These days, I can’t be caught without a mirror or my make-up bag, no way! I take my mirror trips seriously, and in order not to be foolish, I make appropriate corrections. For Mee, there is a lot to make-up for. Top of the list is my makeup. With special thanks to the genetic lottery, I don’t have the typical Hollywood to-die-for figure, nor do I have the nerve to go get it YET!

So, due to my makeup, I take my mirror and make-up bag everywhere I go. There is always a reason to touch up. People are watching, no thanks to the cloud of witnesses. Believe me, there is a lot to make-up for. In my own case, these are things beyond my normal control-ability. Traits I inherited from generations long gone, habits that I picked up with little or no effort on my part.

There was a time my roommates made me up for a party and waow, I was transformed. Even I had a little difficulty recognizing myself in the mirror. The following day however, I simply dressed up and set to go to “school area” for my class. At their protest, I told them I was just being me, besides I dint have the time. How was I supposed to spare the time for all that activity? Good make-up takes a while to apply (FYI)

Every once-in-a-while, a person exhibits a trait/character that is totally out of character…pardon the pun, and simply excuses himself by saying, “I’m just being me” what?!? Who are you? Have you looked into the mirror lately? Do you really know who you are? I get caught in similar shoes too, I do forget who I am at times, but I often glance into the mirror and touch up my make-up. (I’d use anything as a mirror). Back in the University, I had a friend that used an electric iron as his mirror. The end justifies the means.

Thanks to Psychology, Psychoanalysis, Psychiatry, Psychotherapy and the entire world Psychos! We are made up of a combination of nature and nurture, heredity and the environment. So I admit it may be a little difficult to be different from who you are i.e your makeup. But it is not impossible. It takes a lot to cultivate a seed to become a tree that bears fruit. And we have been instructed to not just bear fruit, but to bear fruit that will last. Tall order!

The word of God is our mirror. We are raw materials (spirit beings) and unappealing in our natural selves. It takes time to cultivate a fruit. It’s weed that spews up and grows even where it is not sown. Bad habits are picked easily, sometimes without any effort. Quite a number of us are guilty of reading and studying etc without making corrections to the not-so-appealing areas of our lives. I’m wondering; is it that we don’t see these imperfections or we just can’t be bothered about our appearance(s).

If reputation didn’t matter, Jesus wouldn’t have asked, “Who do people say that I am?” and if reputation was ALL that mattered I honestly doubt if He’d have asked “but who do you say that I am?” Reputation is who people say you are (who you are in the full glare of other people); character is who you are in the dark (when no one is watching). We need to strike a balance between reputation and character. i.e. Between what/who we see and who/what other people see...

And from His example, anyone, anything/anyone can be our mirror.

Other people: close friends and associates, colleagues at work, co-workers in Church, fellow road users, line managers, supervisors, neighbors, the gateman, house help, driver(s), the cook, the bar tender, the office assistant, former boyfriends and girlfriends, Facebook pals, classmates, lecturers, the newspaper vendor, the waiters and waitresses, our parents, our bossom friends, our fiends, etc. the list is endless.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall :- Who do people say that I am? Who do you say that I am? ……… *heavy sigh

Why I Strive To Do The Write Thing

We are interested in others when they are interested in us – Publilius Syrus

Communication absolutely has to be a two-way street. You have to share your ideas with others and listen to theirs. Without mastery of this basic skill - the ability to talk and listen to others - members of a company, a school, or a family can’t thrive for long.

It’s always a shame when a guy with great talent can’t tell the board or a committee what’s in his head. Even worse, when he can’t express his heart to a girl that’s always on his mind!

I have had my heart broken (severally) by guys that have dared to love Mee and by those who have refused to acknowledge my love. For fear of the wrath of a woman scorned, I prefer the former state, however selfish it may seem! Imagine being heartbroken because someone dared to love you? Waoh!

Several people have asked Mee to explain my actions and/or inactions… I have loved and lost and I daresay it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” and “sometimes, a “NO” is the best way to show or express your love for someone!

Even God sometimes says “no” *****sigh. There’s no point in a bird marrying a fish, where would they build their nest, in the tree or in the river? I apologize for all the heartaches I am responsible for, yet I refuse to ‘take responsibility’ for my children’s sake. [It is better to be an orphan than to grow up wishing you were one. (temi ye mi)]

A friend has begged Mee over and over again not to ever mention our relationship on Facebook, as my custom is but… I thought that was an insult until this day I went to the office wearing a band and a colleague looked at Mee and asked me about it. As I opened my mouth to talk, he cut me short and told me not to bother, “I’m sure we’d read about it soon” Imagine?!? Na so my life be? Chei…

Anyways, I know the words I want written on my epitaph – I’m living to deserve those words *wink

With the “insults” a.k.a feedback I occasionally receive from my 'reeders' I am often tempted to simply stop the 'write' thing. But I have a goal, and my goal is priority, my goal drives Mee. (See why it’s necessary / important to have goals?) Faced with challenges and crossroads such as this, goals help us focus, they make decision making easier...works for Mee

to be continued...

17 May, 2010

Management Lessons

This is not mine either... I came across it and thought to share it...great tips for the work place and life in general if you ask Mee!

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure
Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

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